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I stay amazed at the teaching, the guidance from Him. His instructions are so gentle and kind, yet the truth resonates so powerfully. I love that about Him. He is the Truth, the Life, and the Way--and inside that His Way will sift and shake loose what He desires to free you from. I can rest in the truth that He is faithful to generously give freedom when I cry out.
Lord, I need You to give me patience to become like YOU when I mother my children. WOW. He does. He really does.
My Pastor came to me about a month ago and told me, "God wants to give you things. He has many things for you too NOT only Elysia." I was in a mind lock where I only prayed for her healing. Here and there on particularly stressful days I cried out, "Help me," but I only wanted it for my kids. You know? I wasn't considering myself as His love as well-- only my child as my love. Missing the larger, more beautiful picture of Jesus engaging each child, each person individually.
In His grace, my sweet Julie said, "Let's start our 9:30 prayer time again." When I agreed and began meeting Him with dedication, my heart and mind began to change. I am sitting with Him daily- period. Everything and everyone can wait. He has things about Himself to share with me. He wants me to share all concerns with Him.
Worship at church last night was even different. I was dancing like never before. I felt free in a brand new way. It's Him.
Cast my cares upon Him. Yes. Rejoice in my strength and my shield. Yes. He is Jehovah Raffa, God, my Healer.
He has been bringing to my mind the fact that He never turned away someone coming for healing or someone bringing a loved one for healing. He will heal Ely. He saved her from death at age 14. Her healing is truly like the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. She has moved through coma-like non-response to relearning to walk, use the restroom, eat- feeding herself, chewing, swallowing-- I remember when she learned to scoot again and turn and dress herself. God in His complete mercy allowed a NEW start. His kisses are new wine. He has been very affectionate with us, and I will forever praise my God, my King.
He took me to Lamentations recently, and as I read, I was asking, "God, why are you showing me this? It's so sad and troubling to my heart." I felt His soft Truth reveal so tenderly again, "My child, you are sad. You are seeing the devestation and the acts of the enemy more clearly than Me."
Amplified Version: Lamentations 3:1-41
1I AM [Jeremiah] the man who has seen affliction under the rod of His wrath.

2He has led me and brought me into darkness and not light.
3Surely He has turned away from me; His hand is against me all the day.
4My flesh and my skin has He worn out and made old; He has shattered my bones.
5He has built up [siege mounds] against me and surrounded me with bitterness, tribulation, and anguish.
6He has caused me to dwell in dark places like those long dead.
7He walled me in so that I cannot get out; He has weighted down my chain.
8Even when I cry and shout for help, He shuts out my prayer.
9He has enclosed my ways with hewn stone; He has made my paths crooked.
10He is to me like a bear lying in wait, and like a lion [hiding] in secret places.
11He has turned me off my ways and pulled me in pieces; He has made me desolate.
12He has bent His bow and set me as a mark for the arrow.
13He has caused the arrows of His quiver to enter into my heart [the seat of my affections and desires].
14I have become a derision to all my people, and [the subject of] their singsong all the day.
15He has filled me with bitterness; He has made me drink to excess and until drunken with wormwood [bitterness].
16He has also broken my teeth with gravel (stones); He has covered me with ashes.
17And You have bereaved my soul and cast it off far from peace; I have forgotten what good and happiness are.
18And I say, Perished is my strength and my expectation from the Lord.
19[O Lord] remember [earnestly] my affliction and my misery, my wandering and my outcast state, the wormwood and the gall.
20My soul has them continually in remembrance and is bowed down within me.
21But this I recall and therefore have I hope and expectation:
22It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not.(A)
23They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.(B)
24The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.(C)
25The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word].
26It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of the Lord.
27It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke [of divine disciplinary dealings] in his youth.
28Let him sit alone uncomplaining and keeping silent [in hope], because [God] has laid [the yoke] upon him [for his benefit].(D)
29Let him put his mouth in the dust [in abject recognition of his unworthiness]--there may yet be hope.(E)
30Let him give his cheek to the One Who smites him [even through His human agents]; let him be filled [full] with [men's] reproach [in meekness].
31For the Lord will not cast off forever!(F)
32But though He causes grief, yet will He be moved to compassion according to the multitude of His loving-kindness and tender mercy.
33For He does not willingly and from His heart afflict or grieve the children of men.(G)
34To trample and crush underfoot all the prisoners of the earth,
35To turn aside and deprive a man of his rights before the face of the Most High or a superior [acting as God's representative],
36To subvert a man in his cause--[of these things] the Lord does not approve.
37Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass, if the Lord has not authorized and commanded it?
38Is it not out of the mouth of the Most High that evil and good both proceed [adversity and prosperity, physical evil or misfortune and physical good or happiness]?
39Why does a living man sigh [one who is still in this life's school of discipline]? [And why does] a man complain for the punishment of his sins?
40Let us test and examine our ways, and let us return to the Lord!
41Let us lift up our hearts and our hands [and then with them mount up in prayer] to God in heaven:
I am reminded of a scripture I had on my wall during the suicide season... "Behold, I am the Lord , the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?" Jer 32:27
There was no possible way He could explain His intentions in detail to me. He is about His higher ways, and I must be about my trusting and rejoicing and loving. When the anxiety attempts to arise, I will find that river whose streams make glad... I will curl up in Abba's lap. No darkness- no situations that face me or the ones I love are too great for my King, the Bright and Morning Star.