Memories of ICU

After the seizuring from the paralytic, Ely spent several days just lying there. Her eyes opened now and then, but she was so still.  A picture comes to mind of a winter's night we had here years ago. There was snow everywhere and ice covering the braches of the trees. It was beautiful outside. I remember how quiet it was. Summer nights are full of bugs and frogs singing their songs, but a snowy winter night is without sound. 
The bruising on her face was dark, and her beautiful face was swollen. 
I watched her not move for hours. The only noise being the oxygen machine on her trach,  occasional beeping from the IV feed, and medical personnel moving around and talking. I could she her lips open slightly. Her front right tooth had been knocked loose when she was intubated and within 3 days, she'd fought so much and bitten the tube-- the tooth came out. The same tooth she'd knocked out at the age of one. Time returning.
It seemed God was making this act of grace familiar on purpose, deep purposes. Remember her as a child? Remember her? See her purity regardless of what is visible. Discount every mark of pain that your eye may detect. I will restore Ely, and she will be stronger and more complete than before. Don't you believe me? You have the opportunity to view her as I do. Know that as you will care for her; I care for you. 
I remember pleading with God, "Make her move. Is she okay? God, what are you doing? When will she wake up?"
Hours passed as I rubbed her with lotion, talked to her, read aloud to her, and she laid there. Finally during one of my journaling times, God spoke inside of me. "I caused Adam to sleep. I caused Abraham to sleep." I was okay then. She began to open her eyes for longer time periods. Her left arm was unable to move. I remember one nurse, Farah, who was determined for Ely to recover. She would pinch the tender skin near Ely's armpit to create a reaction of her moving that dead arm. Ely cried, but she moved the arm a little. Farah's routine continued, and Ely began to move her left arm.
God's plan for Ely and I is beyond my understanding. It boils down to walking with Him. Trusting Him. A friend of mine recently said, "If we could see the whole finished picture, we would choose His way because it's so much better." Not a little better. Not okay, I can do that. It's THE WAY.
What is He creating in our lives? We are being shaped, transformed into the image of Christ. It's not going to be like we would design, but what a gift to accept His design, His leading. He's the Good Shepherd, and the sheep know His voice.
They began sending a PT therapist to Ely's room. Her name was Gold, and she had a heart of gold. She would help Ely sit up, and help her walk with assistance. She took Ely for rides in the wheelchair and encouraged me to help with baths, walks, and exercise. There were several nurses who stood out, who truly cared, who prayed for Ely.
I would never have chosen this way because intellectually it doesn't make sense. I've heard people say, "Such a shame. She was such a smart girl." And now-- what? Her brain doesn't define who she is. I'm not angry with those statements anymore, and not really hurt by them. Yes, I hurt for my daughter's condition on some level, but I trust my God's direction. There is healing we don't consider, but He is faithful to bind wounds not physical. I trust that He is healing Ely perfectly. It's been almost 2 years now, and something in me shouts, "We've just gotten started."